Experimenting With New Modes of Expression

Uh, helloooooo…
Hi!
Welcome!
In the interest of introductions, I’ll take a moment to bow; to offer my hand; to tip my h a t . . .

     My given name is Erin, but I often go by nicknames & strange ideas. You can refer to me as Erin or you can call me Ms. Lola, or even Ms. B or any other affectionate moniker that may feel appropriate in your brain.
     This is an old muscle I haven’t flexed in a very, very long time. The idea of public writing, of publishing thoughts & experience translated into text. But I’ve found myself in a space of reflection lately, and through that space, I’m feeling called to try out all sorts of old tricks again, & see how they fit in the new landscape of my existence.
Anywho o o o o o o . . . . . . . 

     I’m Lola & this is my digital realm--I’ve been reshaping it to fit me a little better! As an artist & a feral country witch, I’ve spent a lot of time the last few years mulling over how to showcase one’s art & existence through all of the digital means that are available to us now--these tools that offer a sense of democracy in being able to present our work & our thoughts to those who might resonate with them out in the world. However, even in the digital realm, I found myself trying to fit into the prescribed boxes around the ideas of “artist” or “small business” or “creative.” And discovering that, like most other boxes this world offers to us all, I don’t fit the shape of any of them well. I don’t operate smoothly within the usual rules & guidelines of these professions and ideas. And out of a sense of… I’m not sure, perhaps frustration… I let a lot of my creative digital realms go quiet for quite a while now.

        During that quiet period, I've spent a lot of time wrestling with how to make my multi-faceted creative existence palatable & marketable, like “successful” businesses "should be." But try as I may, I just cannot make myself fit into these usual roles. I love getting my hands & my mind wrapped up into so many different kinds of making–I’m not easy to put an exclusive label of “jeweler” or “candlemaker” or “sewist” on. And my vending booth is often a strange cavalcade of various disciplines, based on what’s calling to me at the time. I am, an ever-shifting collection of techniques & tools that grab my fascination at that point in time//space.
     And this ever-present wrestling with how one should have artistic definition doesn't even begin to touch on all of the other creative facets of my life–my relationship with the land and the many plant friends I get to cultivate; my interests in astrology, tarot and herbalism/plant magick; & my love of the stories we tell each other over & over in different forms throughout time, just to touch on a few. The entirety of my existence feels like I am pouring my heart & soul into it continually in search of magick, and the struggle to contain a tiny, single facet of that into one marketable face online simply wasn’t calculating in my alien noodle brain, and as such, I just let it sink into the ether.

     This spring however, has been a shift in my perception at large and the ways I’ve been wanting to show up in the world. After a challenging winter, caught in the depths of Mars retrograde in Gemini that slowed most of my life energy to a grueling halt and forced me to dig into my dark corners, the return of the light brought with it the return of ideas. The return of inspiration. The stoking of that bright & burning fire that blazes at the base of my being. And I decided that enough was enough--that it wasn’t in my own interest to keep trying to cordon off the artistic section of my life for display, because my entire fucking life is my art.

The whole of my existence is my creative expression.

     And as such, I’d like to start sharing that, with all of its mess and nonsense, with the world at large. I want to continue to dissolve the idea that my creativity is only "shareable" when it is something that would be appealing to be consumed in the capitalist landscape. It is my vow to stop deciding that some parts of my life are worth sharing with enthusiasm while others are not. I want to lean into expressing every delicious detail that I feel called to explore in this strange, wide world, I want to joyously show every last facet of my existence that I get to learn from, that I feel enriched by, that adds more beautiful, twisted & strange blooms to the garden of my life.
     So here’s the first small step into a wider creative expression for me. A small step into sharing more of the abundance & wealth I am so deeply blessed to be surrounded by on this plane. I’m excited to see the ways in which it might grow & teach me even more.